A byd story

I heard a story a really long time ago, and I decided to write it in my owns words to see how it went and added my own quirky dave-isms



Mr. Richardson,
There was an inventor named Mr. Richardson who had a bit of notoriety in his community for being a salesman. He wouldn’t approach clients, or even represent a company, despite employers always trying to hire him. He had a very large suitcase, that would act as a podium and its contents would contain his inventions: toys for kids, and exquisite fashion items for adults such as silk ties and pocket squares. He would set up his shop downtown where there was the most traffic of people on the sidewalks and being a retired gentleman, it was the perfect way for him to make money and enjoy himself as he was winding down. He would be one of those guys who would be selling his stock until the day he died.

One day Mr. Richardson noticed a very well dressed man staring at him from across the street. The man was wearing a suit and was intently writing down notes while constantly giving Mr. Richardson an interested look. Mr. Richardson, or Rick for short, did his best to ignore him.

At the end of the day Rick made his way back to his apartment and the young girl from the neighbourhood came by to visit. “Mr. Richardson”, she started, “I bought this windup toy from you the other day and now it doesn’t seem to work!”
He gave a short laugh and said “Don’t worry Sally, this is an easy fix I’ll be done in no time”.
There was another knock on the door and the well-dressed man from downtown walked into the apartment and said hello to Rick. Rick looked at him a bit startled and said “Well, hello sir…What can I do for you? Here you go Sally, I fixed your toy”
Sally looks confused “Thanks Mr.Richardson, but who are you calling sir?”
“Why, don’t be rude, the man who walked in”
“Oh, are you playing a game? Goodbye Mr.Richardson’s invisible friend!” And Sally left his home.
Rick turned to the man in the suit who had found himself seated in a chair by the window. “Kids right?”
“You know Mr.Richardson, only you can see me right now”
“What are you talking about?”
The man looked towards the window sill where a plant sat, and delicately brushed against a leaf and the plant instantly withered away into a black heap.
“You’re…..You’re death?”
Death brushed back his well-kept black hair clenched his jaw and said “Yes Mr. Richardson, and I’m afraid you die tonight in your sleep and then you’ll come with me.”
“This can’t be true, I’m only 64!”
“Mr. Richardson, this is honestly the best way for you to go, completely painless, there are an uncountable number of people who would gladly go in their sleep.”
“Please….There has to be some kind of exception! I am really not ready to die”
“No sir I’m afraid not….Well….”
“Well what? Please, I have to live a bit longer, just a few more months….”

“Well there are three ways I might delay, or give you more time”

“Yes! Please, anything!”
Death rolled his shoulders forward and leaned in, gazing into Rick’s eyes and cocked his head
“Do you have any family that is relying on you for support and wouldn’t be able to function without you?”
Rick looked at the floor “No….No family”
“Are you working on anything in your career that would greatly benefit the future of mankind?”
“Ah….Not really…No”. Rick began to panic, one option left.
“Has there ever been something you’ve really wanted to do and never gotten a chance?”
Mr. Richardson began sweating, he knew he didn’t have an answer for any of these questions and began frantically thinking of a way to buy himself more time. His eyes began scanning the room for anything that might save him. He looked over at his table of toys and spotted his helicopter and exclaimed, “I’ve never been in a helicopter before! And I want to do that more than anything, so you’ll just have to give me a few months to fly around the world and then you can come back for me in my sleep!”
Death leaned back in his chair not amused, “Mr. Richardson, I am very busy and have a plethora of clients; you and I both know that is not good enough.”
Rick put his elbows on a table and covered his face with his hands and squeezed his eyes stuck tightly. How could he possibly be sincere and convince both himself, and Death…..Then it came to him.
“You know…there’s this one thing actually…I don’t bring up too often”
Death glances back at him- sensing some genuine emotion.
Rick continues “I am a salesman, and I’ve never really given a superb pitch; a pitch that just knocks a customer just right off their feet, a pitch that just opens up the sky!”
Death smirks and quips, “A pitch for the angels?”
“A pitch for the angels!” Rick agreed beaming.
Death takes a moment and looks at him notepad, back to Mr. Richardson, and back down to his booklet. His smile fades.
“Mr. Richardson, I’m sorry, I don’t think this is an exception still.”
Rick loses his cool and turns to run out of his apartment and shouts “You can’t kill me! I’m not ready!”
Rick heads for the staircase and begins running down as fast as he can.
Death appears at the landing of the floor, “I’m not killing you sir, it’s your time”
“No! Leave me alone!”, Rick says as he continues to run and at each floor Death is waiting for him on the platforms.
“Mr. Richardson if you don’t come with me tonight I’ll have to take someone else”. Rick ignores the warnings and keeps running. Suddenly a loud noise is heard that eerily sounded like a car screeching. Rick once again see’s Death now at the lobby of the apartment frowning. “I’m sorry, you left me no choice”
Mr. Richardson burst out the door to a crowd of people. A man outside looks devastated and turns to Rick, “Sir….I’m so sorry she just ran onto the road!”
Sally laid in a heap on the asphalt and stared innocently at Rick.
“Oh my god….Darling, are you okay?” Mr. Richardson said weeping.
“Mr. Richardson sir….” Sally peeped. “Who is that man standing behind you?” She asked, motioning at Death.
Hours later Mr. Richardson is sitting outside the hospital on the curb, feeling the guilt of his selfish choice. Across the road was a church, and he found himself praying towards it, but it gave him no comfort. Leaning on his suitcase in the corner of his eyes he notices Death walking towards him, and sitting next to him on the curb. “I’m sorry Mr. Richardson, I didn’t want to do what I did, but it’s the way things work, you’re not supposed to disrupt nature”.
“Do you have an appointment with Sally?” He managed to choke out.
“Yes Mr. Richardson, at midnight”
Rick looked at his watch. 11:45pm.
Rick wiped tears away with the back of his hand and started opening up his suitcase. “Want to see some of my stock?”
Death gave a rare smile from the side of his face, surprised and answered “I don’t see why not, I have some free time”
Rick reached in and pulled out four sets of ties, his best sellers, the ones he uses as display models, all neatly sealed in plastic. He feels a second wind, puts on his best announcers voice, looks at Death in the eyes, stands up and begins, “Say my good man, your suit looks quite dapper but I notice some wear and tear on your tie. Are you finding that even though you never leave your ties tied that they still manage to get wrinkles?”
Death gave a quick laugh, “Actually yes, you’re not too bad at this Mr. Richardson”
Rick continued, gaining momentum.
“You know what I’ll give these to you, just these four ties are going to match every shirt you have and they are not going to age. This kind of material has a life cycle as long as you! Honestly a man can never go wrong with this type of material, durable, fashionable, insatiable, impossibly made just for you it matches your skin tone. Say, you’re not a model are you? My god would these compliment your wardrobe”
Rick felt sweat bead down his back but he knew he had him. Death was eagerly listening and simply could not pass on what he had to offer, every once in a while he’s steal a glance on his watch, just maybe….He can keep him for 15 minutes.
“Your shoelaces are an important part of your attire! Who is really going to respect you if you wear slip-ons? You’d be the Death of fashion with those! I see the shoelaces you’re wearing are thinner than an eyelash. Tell me, how often do those go undone? You’re going to look like a fool tying them all day”
Death made a motion to speak but was cut off-
“If you wanted them tight you’d probably rip them apart! Here, in my selection you’re going to look sharp and you can have your laces tight. Try pulling on these, you’d need a knife to cut these, they are never going to break, I stitched these myself you know, I was going to keep them for myself but for such an occasion I think I could part ways with them. A shoe should be an extension of your foot, on the topic of laces, you’ve never seen such a selection of buckles….”
Suddenly the church across the road gave a deep bellow. The midnight bells began to ring.
Death breaks out into sweat “My appointment!”
He rushes towards the door holding Rick’s numerous gifts and stops himself knowing he had missed his chance. “I’m late, my appointments cannot be late, Sally will live. Death turns to Rick and gives him an impressed smile. “Mr. Richardson that was quite the pitch”
Rick, beginning to pack his suitcase replies, “That pitch opened up the sky”
“A pitch for the angels Mr. Richardson, a pitch for the angels. So are you ready to come with me now? It’s not too late to carry out your original appointment”
“Yes sir I am, will it hurt?”
“What dying? No Mr. Richardson, it will not, you just need to walk with me, and don’t worry, the man upstairs was the one who booked it”