Official Poetry Thread

I've noticed under this section there are scattered threads of poetry and lyrics.
I offer that we create and Official thread for such endeavors. A place to post all things related, making it easier to critique and find them.

I don't know, it's just an idea.....

What you think?

sounds good. stickied to make things easier

I wrote some death metal lyrics the other day

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!!
DUN DUN DUN HGUSNF ASDF NGS NSDNSG
I'll KEEIIEIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL YOUIUUUUUU!!!
DUN DU"N" DUU"N DUN DUN DUJ IDN DUN
GREAGAAAAGHAAGGGGHGGA NNNNNN!!!!!!!
I WANNA CUT OFF YOUR ARM!!!!
DUASNF GRAGGLGLGSLUZNG!!!
DUN DUN DN DUN DUN DIND IDN SDFASM!!!
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

They may be the best lyrics I've ever written.

I like to write death metal.

Brute wrote:

sounds good. stickied to make things easier

Thank you kind sir.

Axe wrote:

I wrote some death metal lyrics the other day

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH!!
DUN DUN DUN HGUSNF ASDF NGS NSDNSG
I'll KEEIIEIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL YOUIUUUUUU!!!
DUN DU"N" DUU"N DUN DUN DUJ IDN DUN
GREAGAAAAGHAAGGGGHGGA NNNNNN!!!!!!!
I WANNA CUT OFF YOUR ARM!!!!
DUASNF GRAGGLGLGSLUZNG!!!
DUN DUN DN DUN DUN DIND IDN SDFASM!!!
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

They may be the best lyrics I've ever written.

You could totally sell that to Cannibal Corpse.

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but ya'll should be leery about posting original stuff online that you've sweat and bled for (or not). Anyone can come across it, like it, and...steal it.
Not to be discouraging of sharing creativities but the internet is a big, wide open space of theft and I would hate to see it happen.

Poems, short stories, etc that are not copywrited can be taken and boy does it suck when someone else takes credit for your poem; even if you did not consider it close to publish worthy and thought of it on the toliet.

I knew a girl that wrote a decent poem, put it online...years pass, I decided to look it up, type in the lines I remembered and BAM...a bunch of websites show up, her poem on them, with people saying it was theirs (with 3 words changed) and all these positive comments on the bottom.

Not saying any of your buds are going to do this, it could be a rando person that stumbles on the site. If you arn't worried then...no worries I guess, just wanted to plant the careful seed.

not nearly enough "fuck" or "blood" or "cunt" or "maggot" in that lyric

Never really thought about that. Suppose it's quite possible.

sarainadream wrote:

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but ya'll should be leery about posting original stuff online that you've sweat and bled for (or not). Anyone can come across it, like it, and...steal it.
Not to be discouraging of sharing creativities but the internet is a big, wide open space of theft and I would hate to see it happen.

Poems, short stories, etc that are not copywrited can be taken and boy does it suck when someone else takes credit for your poem; even if you did not consider it close to publish worthy and thought of it on the toliet.

I knew a girl that wrote a decent poem, put it online...years pass, I decided to look it up, type in the lines I remembered and BAM...a bunch of websites show up, her poem on them, with people saying it was theirs (with 3 words changed) and all these positive comments on the bottom.

Not saying any of your buds are going to do this, it could be a rando person that stumbles on the site. If you arn't worried then...no worries I guess, just wanted to plant the careful seed.

These song lyric could use some work. There was little to no rhyming words, and I just couldn't get into the story you were trying to portray. As Brute said previously, not nearly enough "fuck" or "blood" or "cunt" or "maggot" in that lyric.

No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.

sarainadream wrote:

No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.

lookie there, new signature

Dammit Dark, I bet death metal bands are scanning this forum right now stealing my lyrics!

@sara

you have a very good point. That would definitely suck, especially if you posted lyrics that you wanted to use in a band and then some other band stole them. I'm not sure how worried I'd be about that, but I do love to share my poetry and lyrics with you guys. And yes, I do have legit poems and lyrics

Brute wrote:

sarainadream wrote:

No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.

lookie there, new signature

i deserve credit for drawing that one out

ExtremeOverload wrote:

Brute wrote:

sarainadream wrote:

No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.

lookie there, new signature

i deserve credit for drawing that one out

you do, +rep for you sir

"The cities such a dangerous place someones gotta save it!
Giant robot!"


The chorous for my new song

Brute wrote:

ExtremeOverload wrote:

Brute wrote:

sarainadream wrote:

No fucking worries I guess you cunts, just wanted to bloody well plant the careful seed in your maggot infested brains.

lookie there, new signature

i deserve credit for drawing that one out

you do, +rep for you sir

And Sara doesn't get any. LOL

Poetry eh?:

Bitter, this wind blows,
Ashes and tears.
Where once dreams abound,
Memories so cold.
Eyes, like pale stars,
See not why.
Life, this beating heart,
Damned by fate.

Trapped, these deeds undone,
Lost in time.
Bleeding mouth in anger,
Speak in silence.
Hands, cling spirits thread,
Gallows noose unseen.
Life, this beating heart,
Damned by fate.

Betrayal, body against user,
Stand no more.
Pain in stoic breaths,
Remembered in bones.
Fading, the world awash,
Bright in suffering.
Life, this beating heart,
Taken by fate.



By yours truly.

Haha thanks Brute, I feel special. I think that's the nastiest thing I've ever written.

Like the poem, Dies.

yes, i shall rep sara. after all, that was quite raunchy.

Brute wrote:

yes, i shall rep sara. after all, that was quite raunchy.

hahha. You were like omfg put moarrr swearzz and dirty lang in that!!" and I was like, OKAY FINE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QlGj_GPPi4&playnext_from=TL&videos=0k1LiOMEwAQ&feature=sub

wow, he sounded EXACTLY like a dingo

Hmmm...damn good DI. I especially liked the line about pain in stoic breaths. That line really explains a lot of the feeling in a very interactive, imaginable way. And I really like the rhythm of each stanza. Very nice.

VacuousReality wrote:

Hmmm...damn good DI. I especially liked the line about pain in stoic breaths. That line really explains a lot of the feeling in a very interactive, imaginable way. And I really like the rhythm of each stanza. Very nice.

Why thank you.

My Grandfather suffered from Parkinson's before passing away, that was the inspiration for the piece.

Dies Irae wrote:

VacuousReality wrote:

Hmmm...damn good DI. I especially liked the line about pain in stoic breaths. That line really explains a lot of the feeling in a very interactive, imaginable way. And I really like the rhythm of each stanza. Very nice.

Why thank you.

My Grandfather suffered from Parkinson's before passing away, that was the inspiration for the piece.

I was just sitting there thinking at least part of this was a disease reference go me lol.

Blackstar hasn't noticed that I stole his lyrics

Dammit blackstar. I take my self-frustration out on you. Go you.