>Stories

In lieu of the Facebook group, let's make some stupid story threads here. Worst of my life



>Be three years ago on bus with my girlfriend
>The bus is kind of full and I'm telling her stories
>Joking that I'm a piece of shit because I'm going to order spaghetti at a restaurant we're heading to and it's only like 10am. Going on about how fucking stupid I am
>Suddenly this kid on the bus screams "WOULD YOU STOP SWEARING"
>Ohfuck.html
>The kid definitely had some sort of disability
>I'm so fucked
>Startled I utter "I apologize"
>YEAH YOU BETTER
>Godamn bus is as quiet like they are giving a moment of silence
>Have no idea what to do
>YOU GUYS ARE COMPLETE ASSHOLES
>Spaghetti starts flowing out of my pockets
>Every 30 seconds or so he periodically screams insults at me
>This is the worst moment of my entire life
>AT LEAST I DON'T LIVE WITH MY PARENTS
>Cutsdeep.mkv
>Nobody says anything. I'm staring at the ground
>Bus arrives downtown after a torturous journey
>SEE YOU LATER....PIGS
>Holy shit rush out of here
>Bus patrons thinks I'm a piece of shit

>Be 2 weeks later
>I'm biking down the street, in the distance I see the kid again.
>Fuck
>He's going to recognize me and scream at me
>Approaching
>He makes eye contact
>Buffering....
>80%....
>He looks at me and says "hello"
>"....Hello"
>Carry on
>Thank God
>A month later my girlfriend cheats on me
>Mfw

This isn't 4chan

Tell a funny story you hack

> working at quality inn. training with another desk clerk.
> lotta downtime. start chatting.
> coworker seems bright and witty.
> laughs were had.
> we start talking about irresponsible people.
> him: "I hate it when idiots get drunk and have kids because they didn't use a condom."
> me: "i think anybody that pulls a move like that deserves genital warts."
> kid sitting in lobby overhears. we thought it was empty.
> ohfuck.jpg
> kid starts chanting "genital warts! genital warts!" over and over like a song.
> runs outta the lobby toward the suites before we can stop him
> coworker figures if we're gonna get in trouble for it, we may as well finish the conversation.
> him: "yeah its just so irresponsible. i mean how do they take care of a kid like that?"
> me: "i would probably spare everyone the trouble and have him aborted."
> mfw he tells me he's adopted
> mfw he screams at me, breaking shit and quits on the spot
> mfw angry mom returns to bitch me out and wants to talk to the General Manager
> mfw I have to call him, interrupting his Las Vegas vacation to explain this shit.
> kid winks at me from behind his mother.

Your co-worker reacted like that because you made a mild abortion joke?

hehe yeah. cuz if his biological parents had aborted, he wouldnt exist. didnt help that his new family was super-christian.