Women kills herself with pleasure

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostiution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time."

Uh.......What the ****?
WHAT IS THAT GODAMMIT!

She's pretty anal about this situation

was she hammered before she made that decision
i say her choices were a bit rocky


*rim shot*

brutality,thynameismetal wrote:

was she hammered before she made that decision
i say her choices were a bit rocky


*rim shot*

Too soon brute too soon! xD though I did laugh my ass off.

/Facefoot

Penis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBHZFYpQ6nc
Leaked interview with the husband

Oh nice... This reminds me of this one lady who was trashed (one way or another) on top of a refridgerator masterbating with a broom stick. She fell of and impaled herself with the broom stick. People are fucked up morons.

Awwww!
Dude!
That was cacophony right there
Ewww, my jaw dropped right thurr

+rep for the use of "cacophony"

+ Rep for knowing what it means lol
It is probably my favourite word to say out loud

It is a good word, I actually use it some lol. But I like to use random words that people don't use enough.

my personal fav is
vacillate

or smarmy

Exceptional is another word I like
It sounds so important

Epic, that word is just so... epic, although I hate when it's overused and abused :/

Byd, could you post the source (link) of this news? Want to show it to some people

Can't remember
Copy and paste some of it into google